Marriage is not just about two people living together, but also a long-term emotional exchange.
Many couples inadvertently ignore the importance of "emotional value" when getting along with each other, which leads to the relationship becoming gradually cold and even cracks.
Among all the ways to enhance emotional value, perhaps the simplest yet most effective one is to be a partner who does not spoil the fun.
Unintentional spoilers cool relationships
On a weekend afternoon, the sun shone through the curtains into the living room. Banxian was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone, while Lili ran to him excitedly, her eyes sparkling.
"Banxian, look at this!" She happily handed over her phone, and on the screen was a highly rated B&B. "Our fifth wedding anniversary is next month, do you want to stay for two nights?"
Banxian glanced at it and frowned: "This kind of place is very expensive, right? And it's just a room. It's the same no matter where you stay, you just sleep, right?"
The smile on Lili's face froze instantly, and the expectations in her heart seemed to be poured with a bucket of cold water.
This was not the first time. In the past few years, whenever she excitedly wanted to share something with Banxian, he would always pour cold water on her first or respond with "What's there to be happy about?"
Gradually, Lili began to keep happy things to herself and no longer share them with Banxian.
Long-term disappointment will make your partner less willing to communicate with you, and even develop psychological expectations of your reaction - "You won't be interested even if I tell you" or "I'd better not say anything to avoid being poured cold water on."
Over time, this relationship will lose its original passion and interaction and become just two "roommates" living under the same roof.
A different conversation
The next day, when Banxian was chatting with a friend, he overheard the friend say, "My wife will tell me immediately if she has any new discoveries. I may not understand them, but at least I will help her to have fun, and she will be willing to share many things with me all the time."
These words stunned Banxian. He suddenly recalled Lili's expression yesterday and felt a little uncomfortable.
After returning home, he saw Lili sitting at the dining table, eating with a calm expression.
Banxian thought for a moment and said softly, "Wife, can you show me the B&B we stayed at yesterday?"
Lili looked up in surprise, hesitated for a moment, and handed the phone to him.
Banxian looked at it carefully and nodded: "Well, this one looks really good, the environment is very beautiful, and the breakfast seems to be delicious too."
Lili was stunned for a moment, with a hint of surprise in her eyes: "Right? I think this room has a great atmosphere!"
"We can go. It's the fifth anniversary, it's worth celebrating." Banxian said with a smile.
The corners of Lili's mouth rose slightly, and the light in her eyes returned.
Speak well to make your marriage warmer
An unintentional word can make people excited or make them fall into an ice cellar in an instant.
As the saying goes, "A nice word warms you through three winter months, while an unkind word chills you through six months of summer." Attitude always determines the temperature of a relationship.
"Not spoiling the fun" does not mean going against your own wishes to please the other person, but rather it is a kind of respect, understanding and timely companionship.
For example, when your partner happily shares interesting stories about the day, even if you are not interested in the topic, you can give an appropriate response instead of pouring cold water on it or turning a blind eye.
When someone is excitedly planning a trip, even if your first reaction is to worry about the budget, you can first acknowledge their expectations and then discuss the details together, rather than immediately pouring cold water on them.
How to be a good partner who doesn’t spoil the fun?
1. Listen and respond
Even if you are not interested in the topic, you can look at the other person and express your concern with simple words such as "Oh, really?" or "That sounds great!" instead of being indifferent or perfunctory.
2. Learn to feel the other person’s happiness
If the other person is excited about something small, try to join in his emotions first and let him feel your company and participation.
3. Give encouragement at the right time
When the other person is planning or looking forward to something, even if there are difficulties, you can first give encouragement and then discuss together how to solve the problem instead of directly pouring cold water on him.
4. Understand the other party’s interests
Even if it is not your hobby, you can still learn about it appropriately so that you can have more topics to communicate with each other instead of just living in your own world.
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Happiness in marriage often comes from these small emotional exchanges.
Being a good partner does not mean trying to please the other person, but showing respect and love in the relationship and making the other person feel understood and supported.
After all, marriage is not just about living together, it's also about creating happy memories together.
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