# so-called friends, is it a tool to solve your loneliness? "
When the prince asked, I couldn't answer.
The prince said: "#Only those who have nothing to do will feel lonely, friends are casual encounters in fields with similar interests, rather than a casual group of acquaintances to highlight one's popularity. "
At that time, Sunny had just been transferred from the sweater team and was sitting opposite the prince. When I first arrived, I brought double portions of snacks on the first day. During the break, I handed them to the prince and distributed them to the people around me. During lunch, Sunny asked other people in the group where they wanted to eat. Everyone voted for udon noodles, and she took the initiative to take out her phone and said, "I'm here for group shopping! How many people are there?" Everyone was occasionally lazy in the afternoon. While chatting, talking about the party last weekend, Sunny couldn't help but talk to her: "It's very nice there, I go there often!" However, in this case, Sunny # often results in a hot face but a cold butt. Not only would everyone interrupt the conversation, but even the participants would not know why the inexplicable guy would interrupt.
Sunny added everyone in the group on WeChat. Whenever someone posted a status in their Moments, she would be the first to like it and say a bunch of happy things. But what others saw was that no matter how many replies there were under that status, no one replied to her. Similarly, under each of her statuses, there are basically no likes or comments from anyone in the group.
Every November, the company organizes a suburban trip. Since it is public expense, basically everyone in the company will participate. But problems soon arose. In order to save money, the company usually arranged for two employees to live in one room, so Chi Hui, who was assigned to Sunny, soon became unhappy. However, no one else in the group was willing to change rooms with Chi Hui, so Chi Hui privately told the girl who was close to the general manager to quietly change the list, saying that there was a problem with the previous one and that they needed to be regrouped. This kind of thing could not be hidden from everyone in the office, and Sunny soon heard about it from others. In the end, Sunny ran to the general affairs office and said that she had something to do that day and might not be able to attend.
During lunch, I was chatting with the prince. When it came to Sunny, I felt that she was actually quite pitiful. The prince lowered his head to eat eel rice and ignored me. I continued: "Really, I think the people in your group are actually a bit too much." The prince swallowed the food in his mouth, looked at me and said, "Is # pitiful?? she is # takes social friendship too cheaply, how can you become friends with others just by eating, drinking, and chatting casually? Although when it comes to emotional matters, you have to pay to get a response, but # If you don’t even look at the target before paying, that is asking for trouble. Is it necessary to meet people whose values are completely different from yours? When they talk about weddings and funerals every day, I feel like spending another second with them is a waste of time. Some people can be classified as friends,# But some people can only stop at their colleagues——Besides our working relationship, we have no other interactions. "
The next afternoon, I noticed that as long as someone asked Sunny to do something, Sunny would happily help. However, after helping, other than a simple "thank you", others did not give Sunny a good look. Originally, under such circumstances, everyone would just do their own thing and walk on their own track. No one would stop specifically for someone, and no one would hand a tissue to someone who was aggrieved and crying. . After work, there was a big group dinner, and Sunny was omitted from the list. She just smiled lightly and said, "It's okay. I happened to have an appointment with someone, so I won't go." Since I didn't finish my work, I told my boss that I would go later. In the end, I was too busy without realizing it. When I clocked in and went downstairs, I thought I might as well not go. I sent a message to my boss and planned to go to the convenience store to buy some bread, but I found Sunny sitting on a chair in the convenience store eating a lunch box.
Originally, I wanted to step forward and say hello, but unexpectedly I was held by a hand. When I turned around, I saw that it was the prince.
"She has been sitting for a while. She must be in a bad mood. If you go up and call her, it will only embarrass her." The prince said to me in a low voice. I was surprised why the prince appeared suddenly. The prince shrugged and said, "You know I don't like to attend those messy parties, so I went to buy something nearby. I was a little thirsty, so I came in to buy water and saw her."
If I'm not mistaken, Sunny's dull eyes were a little red. She was eating the bread slowly and looking at her phone in a daze from time to time.
The prince and I were sitting next to the Apple flagship store on Nanjing Road that day. The prince told me a story. she says,#Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, there was a time when she was the same. When I was in college, I met new people through friends, and I always felt that I got along with them. However, unexpectedly, others did not include you in their circle at all. No matter if there were activities or concerns, you would not be chosen. for participants. Many seemingly romantic relationships are just a joke.# Don’t think that you are digging out your heart and lungs,# Others will be kind to your friendship. Sometimes, a group of people are talking about something that actually doesn’t interest you at all, but you still want to chime in and chime in, thinking that others will notice you because of it. In fact, in the end,# are all acting one-man shows.
The prince looked at me and said, you are always worried that I have no friends in the company, but I always think,# friends are attracted to each other because they have similar auras., rather than doing it deliberately. For example, you and I have never held any special ceremony to tell the world that "we are friends", but we still have a happy relationship. Therefore, I will never make friendship cheap in order to solve the problem of "loneliness".# circles are different,# does not require forced integration, has always been a value that I believe in.
I said, then we should talk to Sunny about these things. I think you should persuade her. On the one hand, you are a girl, and on the other hand, you have had the same experience.
The prince shook his head, threw the finished bottle into the trash can, and said, "# Never think that you are someone’s savior, we can’t save others. Believe me, the only thing that can bring her back to life, apart from God's accidental arrangement, is her own complete sobriety. "
The prince said, "Zhou, tell me something about you." I had a friend before who I was very close to, and we had known each other for many years. Later, she started to work in the entertainment industry, and she was not happy at first. She often called me and said that it was difficult to squeeze into the small groups around her. Although everyone seemed to know each other, she was never included when others were talking or joking. , because everyone else is releasing records and making movies. She also worked hard to be on par with those people. In fact, her conditions were not bad, she just lacked opportunities.
When the opportunity came, I released an album and sent a copy to all my friends in the circle. I said I wanted everyone to give me feedback, but actually I also wanted others to think of me at some point. However, after the record arrived, there was almost no response. When I asked about it a few months later, the other person suddenly realized that he had indeed signed for something, but had put it in the corner without paying attention. She just smiled kindly and said it didn't matter, it didn't matter, just listen to it when you have time. But everyone is busy,# when you are not strong enough, no one will notice you at all.
After a few years, things changed and new people entered the circle, and she became a senior. Maybe the time was right, or maybe she was really getting better and better, suddenly jumped to the front line, and many people began to notice her. At this time, those friends who did not take her seriously in the past began to interact with her again, as if the previous indifference and lack of attention had never happened. After all, still # has a strong foundation, there is no such thing as "flattery" and "pleasure".
The prince smiled faintly and continued. She seemed particularly calm when talking about her days when she was like a fish in water. Those circles that once seemed particularly sacred, only to find themselves in a mess when they really stepped into them.#Everyone wears a mask of hypocrisy, doing double-dealing,# slanders people who may have just smiled and chatted a second ago. Finally, I got out and returned to myself, only to realize that I didn’t belong to those circles in the first place. Friends, after all, don’t come by begging.
Although the prince insisted on not reminding her about these things, I still wrote a private email to Sunny. The content was not much, I just told her,# Instead of wasting time on others,# It’s better to spend time on yourself. When I got off work, I received an email from Sunny with only two simple words: thank you.
Sunny began to manage his work very carefully, and tried every means to get the appreciation of the leader as much as possible. However, there were too many people in the group, and everyone had a strong desire to express themselves. Sunny was still lost in the crowd. There are not many people who work overtime in the office, and Sunny is one of them. Because she has no invitations from colleagues and no additional arrangements, she often works late in the cubicle.
Everyone said that Sunny ended up like this because she was dumped by her boyfriend and no one wanted her. The prince heard this in the tea room and couldn't help but reply: "A few days ago, I happened to see her boyfriend buying roses and waiting for her downstairs. I don't know if you all saw it, so I couldn't suppress my jealousy and said this. "If you say that." In the end, everyone was speechless.
Half a month later, Sunny applied for a team transfer, but HR told her that there was no need for staff in other teams. Finally, Sunny said she could accept the assignment. At that time, there were not many people in overseas offices, so it was not difficult to apply. However, many local employees did not want to go to such remote places because the wages were not much higher than at home and the environment was even worse than at home. But Sunny still insisted on applying. She came back to my seat, handed me a bottle of yogurt, and said, "Thank you." Sunny smiled easily and started to pack things.
After Sunny went overseas, we could basically see her every time we had a video conference. I heard that after she went overseas, she quickly became the backbone. Because there are few people, the social circle is simple, and everyone doesn’t have so many ideas. They just want to work happily, and the atmosphere is very good. Later, when Sunny came back as a representative of an overseas office, all of her former colleagues suddenly flocked to her and asked questions, as if they were welcoming friends returning from abroad. Sunny was promoted to three levels in a row in one year. I told the prince about it, and the prince smiled and said, at least she finally # knows what he wants, this is more important than anything else.
Sunny came over to greet me and the prince, and I said, I see you are getting better and better, I am so happy for you. Sunny smiled generously and said, thank you for your letter. He turned around and said to the prince again, "And your bread."
I looked at the prince in surprise, and the prince shrugged, indicating that he didn't understand. Sunny said: "Although it has been a long time, I still remember that day when I was sitting in a convenience store and I was hungry, you handed me the bread. You said that although bread is not as good as delicacies, at least it can be used when I am hungry. Eat your fill, and then indicate that you have one in your hand. You may not know the importance of that moment to me. When everyone is going to the party, you are willing to share a piece of bread with me. Although we usually don’t talk much, I know. , you regarded me as a friend. At that time, I always envied your ability, but later I realized that it was you who attracted you. # never pleases others but sticks to one’s own attitude. "
Before Sunny returned overseas, she sent the prince a message. She asked, how can we truly not care about it? The prince replied:# is so powerful that others will care about you. Sunny smiled back and said she understood.
In the past, I had always been worried that the prince would be a friendless person, that he would be lonely, and that he would lose his sense of existence because he had no one to interact with. But gradually, I realized,#’s sense of presence is never given by others, only if you are too weak, you do not have enough weight to exist in the world.
The prince and I were sitting on the rooftop drinking coffee. We were just two simple people. We never tried to please each other in a vulgar way, nor did we force ourselves to fit into each other's circle. A true friend will accept you because of your beauty, not because of your flattery and deliberateness.# doesn’t need to please the whole world, you just need to wait for people who are attracted by your qualities to take the initiative and be willing to get together with you.
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